Heroic Mop Sacrifices Self to Save Grill on Memorial Day

“Here, the rescued charcoal grill once again stands tall, thanks to its newly donated and professionally fitted prosthetic leg. The grill appears fully ready and even eager for handling yet another full summer of seriously grilling many more delicious meals.”

Reporting by Blabbermouth Bobblehead
DP – (Disassociated Press – No News At 11)

While pictures of the heroic rescue and salvage operation were unfortunately unavailable for publication, DP reporters were able to obtain exclusive images of the miraculously salvaged charcoal grill, which appears ready to stand tall through yet another summer of heavy cooking use and abuse thanks to its custom new prosthetic leg, shown below.  This leg used to be a mop handle, and was made available by the tired old mop, which had selflessly signed a permission slip authorizing medical authorities to use any such body parts as may be of use to help others when it passed away.  It died peacefully of old age in its sleep just as the need to use the grill arose, and so authorities wasted no time in putting together this rescue/salvage operation.

Both a 4×6 metal cutting bandsaw and an X2 mini-mill volunteered their services for this emergency grill rescue, although the X2 mini-mill humbly downplayed its part in this miraculous salvage operation, referring to itself as only being used as just a “precision drill press” in the resuscitation efforts.  The 4×6 bandsaw offered no comment, preferring to stand quietly in its corner of the garage, out of all the hubbub and excitement, just waiting to cut something, anything, hopefully soon.

The 4×6 bandsaw cut the metal tubing mop handle to length, and the rubber handle end was cut down just a bit to remove the hole in the end that was previously used to hang the mop up on a hook on the wall.  This was deemed to be too structurally weak for grill leg duty and so was simply removed, leaving the remaining rubber handle to act as a foot.

Here some of the details of the X2 mini-mill’s efforts can be seen, with 3 pretty close to identical sheet metal screws being dug out from a scrap box and used to attach the prosthetic leg inside the top mounting end of the grill’s original leg. Three screws spaced roughly equidistantly apart now hold it securely in place:
And of course, the former rubber mop handle is shown now doing duty as a grill foot.  Note the surgical marker pen line showing roughly where to drill the hole for the grill rack, at about so-ish an angle, like so:
The grill’s owners were unavailable for comment, with a family spokesman only commenting that the grill had already BBQ’d up 5 delicious steaks and a full pack of hot dogs, and the family was presently engaged in enjoying their Memorial Day meal.

Further investigation by this reporter revealed that it is common for grills of this type to rust away and weaken at the spot near the base of their legs where they are drilled through for the bottom grill rack to mount into.  What eventually happens is this spot rusts, weakens, and finally the bottom of the leg breaks off.  This makes the grill become prone to falling over and unsafe for further use. Often such afflicted grills are retired and salvaged out to metal recycling plants.

Thanks to the selfless gift of life from the now dearly departed old mop, and of course the tireless and skilled efforts of the 4×6 bandsaw and X2 mini-mill, there is at least one charcoal grill that is not going to go out that way just quite yet.  Lots of life to live and grilling to give left in this old beast, for at least another long hot summer, maybe two.

DP – Disassociated Press. All Rights Reserved.

John Z. can be found offering excellent advice in a number of machining and metalworking discussion groups. – Editor

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