January 4, 2009
I’m sorry I mouthed the word “a–hole” at you while trying to get my car out of its parking space at the bagel store. The way you inconsiderately and illegally parked your shiny new Mercedes in the fire lane made it very difficult but I still shouldn’t have done it. And I’m sorry you locked your keys inside your car when you jumped out of it to yell at me.
I’m also sorry I didn’t want to fight you like you wanted me to. I’ve already spent a lot of time in the county jail and I don’t want to go back, especially as an inmate. You see, I used to work there as a volunteer teaching decision-making skills to inmates, which included trying to make them realize how much trouble their temper can get them into if they don’t learn how to control it.
I also used to study one of the martial arts and one of the things I learned was to always avoid a physical fight if you can, even if it means losing face. There are lots of reasons for doing that. In this case fighting because you were too lazy to properly park and walk another 30-feet would have just been stupid.
I truly hope that you learn to control your temper better. It’s really not a good idea to try and pick a fight with someone who is a foot taller than you, fifty-pounds heavier and whose fighting abilities might be much better than yours. Quite frankly, you remind me of a friend’s 9-pound miniature dachshund, who stupidly tries to attack every dog it sees, even 110-pound rottweilers that can eat it for lunch.
I wish we’d been able to calmly discuss your repeated claim that I’m a loser because I drive a 10-year old Toyota Camry that’s in nearly mint condition. You see, when I was looking for my first car my uncle told me about a roommate he once had. The roommate wanted to impress girls so he went and bought a brand new Thunderbird that was loaded with options. It cost him so much that afterwards he couldn’t afford gas for it or to go out on dates. Because of that story I’ve always bought modest used cars and kept them for as long as they remained reliable. My Camry is the most expensive car I’ve ever owned and it cost me $7300. That was almost 7 years and 120,000 miles ago. It’s been super reliable and I expect to easily get another 60,000 miles out of it and “drive it to the moon,” which is a way of saying 250K miles.
The bottom line is that I don’t think I’m a loser because I spend very little money on cars. It has allowed me to have a pilot’s license, a late-model 27-foot sailboat that I keep in a nice marina, a very well equipped workshop and money for my other hobbies. It’s also why our house is paid for and we don’t have any other debts. It’s also helped my wife and I to max out our 401Ks every year for a very long time, which means we’re doing “OK” (wink, wink) financially.
Again, I apologize for mouthing the word “a–hole” at you. It was very rude, even if it did accurately describe you.
Have a nice day,